How to Avoid Becoming What You Hate

How do you avoid becoming what you hate?

It’s not as simple as just not hating something. We have principles, standards, ideals we strive to live up to. There are things we stand for, and there are things we stand against.

There is a gray area between hating something and standing against it. You’re against something usually because you hate it, or at least you perceive some kind of an injustice or wrongdoing.

When you read the words internet marketing, what kind of associations and feelings came to you? Scam? Deception? Manipulation?

I’ve seen people rise and fall in this industry, and the ones that rise the highest often (but not always) end up engaging in the slimier aspects of internet marketing. Once they start down that slippery slope, they keep going until they’re indistinguishable from any other internet marketing hype machine. They do this because it (mostly) works.

Could I have been more “successful” if I had followed that path, too? Absolutely. And I would’ve hated myself for it. My good intentions would have paved a 6-lane highway straight to hell.

But is that the only path to success?


More than one path to success

There’s a different model, one that involves being yourself and being helpful without using manipulative internet marketing practices. Most of the people who exemplify this model have a few elements in common:

  • They are known by their names, not a brand or a company
  • They seek to provide tremendous value that is obvious and not portrayed as a hidden secret that “experts don’t want you to know.”
  • They write and publish prodigiously
  • They never make you feel like you have to compromise your own values in any way to benefit from their knowledge

So, back to the original question: how do you avoid becoming what you hate?

How to avoid hitting trees

When you are taught to ski, you’re told that if you want to avoid running into trees, don’t look at them. Don’t look at what you’re trying to avoid, look at where you want to be next.

That’s what I’m doing: looking where I want to be next. A published writer, creating what I want without fear.

So it’s my choice is not between success and doing something I despise (which counts as a failure to me). There’s more than one model of success and I can avoid becoming what I hate by focusing instead on what I love.

Nothing could possibly make more sense, right? But we people, we’re funny creatures. Most of the time, we don’t even know what really motivates us until we drag it out into the light of day by trying to put it into words. Writing has an amazing ability to do that—It’s one of blogging’s chiefest benefits.

No true path in life is easy.

photo credit: h.koppdelaney via photopin cc


2 thoughts on “How to Avoid Becoming What You Hate

  1. You’ve got some powerful wisdom in this post, Michael — how many have gone astray thinking they had to emulate those they perceived as successful, only to find that the true way was deep inside themselves all along, waiting to be discovered.

    Glad you’re back and finding your wholehearted voice.


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